I’m One of “Those People”

I remember, prior to Calum, when I would get on Facebook and all I would see from some of my friends was pictures of their baby/child/children, and status updates all about their children. I remember that it didn’t irritate me, but that I just didn’t understand why all they ever wrote about was their child. What about the rest of their life?

I remember, when I was pregnant, being so excited about my baby and just knowing that I would love him so much- because that is just how it is, right?

I HAD NO IDEA!

I have completely become one of “those people”. In my opinion, the moment your child is born you can’t help but become one of those people, as a love unlike ANYTHING you have ever experienced or imagined takes you over.

I love my child. I love him more than any other person in my life. I find myself choosing him above all. I want to be with him, even when I am exhausted there is nowhere I’d rather be than with my baby.

Don’t get me wrong. I need breaks and I enjoy sleeping during those times when Damon feeds him, or watching TV on nights Damon bathes him, etc. My point is that the love you feel for your child and the need to be with your child or to think or worry about your child is very intense and something you just can’t imagine before you have it. I miss him when I am at work. I want to be with him as soon as I leave work. When I am shopping or doing things without him I enjoy that time, but I wonder what he is doing, I buy things for him, I think about him, etc.

The thing is, my baby IS my life now. He is my priority (I hate that word because it makes it sound like an obligation- that’s not how I feel). He is where I want to be.

Yes, I post pictures about my child on Facebook. Believe it or not, I try really hard to not over-post. So, if you think I post a lot of pictures or status updates about my baby, you have NO IDEA how many more you could have had to read had I not had control over it. Lol!

It amazes me, too, how your emotions change once you are a parent. Things that would have normally just made me sad will now make me bawl. I can’t read things about sick children, dying children, mistreated children without feeling overwhelmed by sadness, stress, worry, love. It is crazy!

How did God sacrifice his son for us? How do parents get past the loss of a child? These are things I can’t comprehend.

SOOOOOO, I completely babbled on and on in this post. Sorry. My point is, if you are irritated by my posts that are only about my child, I am sorry, but it isn’t going to change, so….